FearlessFaith

Feb. 25th, 2009 at 7:03 PM

Putting down your pride is definitely an extremely hard thing to do. Honestly, everyone thinks they’re right and everyone usually wants to have the last say, like winning the argument. In an argument, we probably normally always think that the person we disagree with is naive and is just too blind to see our own side/perspective. In reality if you look at it from a different viewpoint, the immature one is the one that always wants to win; it’s the one that always thinks his/her way is the best. In a world like ours, most conversations are mostly comparisons and boastful situations. So i think that just plainly stating that we must put down our pride is a difficult task to do. Obviously, saying things is much easier than doing things…taking action. But if we look to our leader, our savior, we can find help; we are able to follow and observe Jesus’ example, which I think is what he really wants us to do, because he knows what’s best for each of us. And so therefore out of love, he has shown and sacrificed so much for us.

Wow, just typing all this out has made me realized that I haven’t looked to our Creator in a very long time. I have been thinking about it, but I guess I haven’t actually done it. 

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Random thoughts

 Feb. 22nd, 2009 at 9:20 PM

Don’t you ever feel like nobody understands you? It’s so funny how people just assume that they know what you’re like, but in reality it’s not like that one little bit. Like you wish people knew you from the inside out, b/c normally people judge/base everything from the outside—never really getting inside. Basically, social life is so stressful! I always feel like I can’t relate to anyone, and when I do, the moment only lasts for a minute. It’s so easy saying “Let yourself go and just relax and have fun!” Honestly, I don’t know how. I’m thinking the real me is already out there. I’m not bottled up, hiding inside. I’m actually already out; it’s just that people could care less. I can feel so isolated and in the direction towards depression at times, because I am so limited in everything I do. WAIT…. rewind. I just realized what a complainer I am. Alright, so basically I dwell on this topic almost every week,because obviously we have to face people everyday, so of course the problems arise, but really I shouldn’t be thinking like this. I should be more positive! Relatively speaking, other people have it much worse than I do/feel. Or maybe, everyone feels this way, in a way ( maybe not as extreme, but somewhat). Okay, you know what, God loves me and he has a purpose for me. Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem. I’m probably just making a huge fuss out of nothing. Gosh, I am so stupid. I feel retarded now lol. 

Well, I don’t know… Hope for the best and never look back. I guess we really shouldn’t think/dwell on what has passed, especially awkward or embarrassing moments or what not. Good reminder is to be strong and look at everything in an optimistic way, because just the fact that we’re alive and living on a planet is a miracle….a blossoming flower is a miracle as well! Wow, life is beautiful! 

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A Burden

 Feb. 22nd, 2009 at 12:43 AM

 Just about an hour ago, as I was playing the keyboard, worshiping God, I realized that I had an urge to do something. I have a burden to teach people how to use music to be with God, to sing to Him as their comfort. I don’t know how or what, but I really feel that it’s something that I have to do. The feeling you get when playing and singing to him is so precious and priceless that I want and hope others can experience what I have experienced. It’s so much more than just simply singing to him. The melodies and lyrics express so much more than what you intend. This truly lightens my spirit and revives the life in me. I feel so calm and peaceful whenever I sit down and just play. If this can make me feel this way, imagine if others learned and experienced it as well. Imagine the possible changes that could come.

My God-given ability isn’t as great as many others, but I want to share at least what I have and know. I just pray that God will provide a start/boost for me, because I really don’t know how I’m going to get started. And I’m not that great in teaching either, so if I am going to do this, I will definitely need His help in everything.

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Nursing Home

Feb. 12th, 2009 at 6:03 PM 

Going to a nursing home today was quite an experience! We were delivering valentines to every resident there. Stopping by each room, we would greet the elders who lay in their beds; some unable to move, some unable to speak, some unable to hear. However, although majority of them were physically  limited, when they saw their valentine card, their eyes lit up! Seeing the surprise in their reaction reminded me of being a small child. It was so easy to be satisfied as a child. Just by receiving a small thing, my joy would last you the whole day. 

That has reminded me to have child-like faith. I want to be overjoyed when God does the smallest favor, the smallest action. I want to cling onto him like a child, knowing that if I let go, I will be lost forever. 

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Why FearlessFaith? 

 Feb. 11th, 2009 at 6:13 PM

Ever since I was a kid, growing up in a Christian family was no problem. I accpeted it without questioning anything. It wasn’t until I was maturing into my teen years when I realized “why do I love god? and why do I believe in God?” I felt so confused as to why I went to church and why I was singing worship songs, etc. Everything didn’t make sense. I couldn’t put the puzzle pieces together. Why were there so many Christians? What made them believe? This question came up every time I saw people worship God.

Then, during a Thanksgiving retreat in the year 2008, a prophet revealed to me what God had always wanted to tell me the whole time I was in confusion. Because of my ignorance towards God, I never communicated with him, and that is why I was left in the dark for a while. She told me, “Don’t ask any more questions. Just believe in God. Trust him with your heart. Don’t have any more doubts, and just believe. God is telling me that right now you are stuck in a bottle, trying to get out. All the worldly things are holding you inside, like confusion. The devil just wants to hold you in as long as possible so that you can’t get close to God, but I see that you are going to explode from the bottle soon. You are going to soar high with God right there with you. You are going to join him and his ministries. There is going to be a breakthrough within yourself soon and you will be set free.” ( There were more things that she said, but those are not that important as of now). After hearing that, I was excited about the future, because I wanted to leave confusion, but honestly I didn’t know how God was going to set me free. So I decided to just believe and have faith in Jesus, starting that day in November. So now it is February—it has been 3 months, and just last weekend I think it was the 7th or 8th, God spoke to me. I don’t know how, but I just knew it was him. At that moment i was like ” this is it—I’ve always heard that God speaks to different people in different ways—this was how he spoke to me. He showed me unconditional love; he showed me his gentle side—he showed me his beautiful creation; he showed me what an AMAZING GOD he is. He is one that never abandons; he is one that always listens; he is the one that always loves no matter how disgusting we are; he is the ultimate GOD; he is our savior! He showed me how you can love in this world, even though it may be a dirty world of hatred and disgust. Especially after hearing Misty Edward’s sermon from onething, the deal was done—I had been set free; I had exploded from the bottle! My life was now God’s… and at that instant, I wanted to live for him, I wanted to worship him. 

To be honest, I was baptized when I was 7 or 8, but he didn’t speak to me until 7 years later. All I can say now that IT IS WORTH IT!!!!!!!!

All my confusion, all my frustration, EVERYTHING. IT IS WORTH IT! JESUS IS WORTH IT! The feeling is just unexplainable. It is so awesome that words can NEVER express the way I feel. THE LONG WAIT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT!

 I learned that believing/having faith in God is the first step to becoming close to Him. It took me so long just to get a response from him because it takes effort to want him. It takes my effort to build a relationship with him, just as it would be on earth, in our daily lives. Like, to find your spouse, you must build a relationship first, which definitely takes time. SAME THING—-We must build it up in order to find and feel God’s love for us. *God has loved us from the very beginning. We just never realized it or took the time to notice or feel it, because the world distracts us. It lures us away from his unconditional love. But once we know how deep, how high, how great his love is for us, you will be blown away—TRUST ME. You will realize that the love of any person, any boyfriend/girlfriend, any family member, their love can never compare to the love Jesus has for us. His love is THE ultimate love. once again, IT’S WORTH IT. Waiting on the lord, believing all he has done. Loving him is SO worth it.

Now I can say that the endurance with faith I had for this period of time is worth it. I believe and love with all my heart. And with GOD, I am FEARLESS of what is to come in the future.